I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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