even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
