i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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