he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
