Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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