So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
