Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
