i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
