Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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