Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
