he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
