Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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