Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
