How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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