3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We had sex on a dog bed..
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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