I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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