just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
