i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Semen is not good for contacts.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
