so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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