i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
