I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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