Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
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