You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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