I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
