New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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