I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
