Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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