May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
