Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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