We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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