she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
