Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
