I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
you're hired as official boob wrangler
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Couch. On fire.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
