I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
