haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
