matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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