I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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