I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
