I hate all girls vehemently.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
