Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
