You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
