I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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