i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.