Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
