How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.