you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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