so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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