I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
