what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
