I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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