lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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