I just saw a hot homeless man
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
