Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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