google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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