Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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