i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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