haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He better not be in your backpack
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
